Monday, January 26, 2009

Out Of My Depth

My best friend Kori's daughter, Hannah, is going through a lot right now. This past summer she thwarted a guy that broke into their home, then had to go through the trauma of worrying about him coming back and feeling like she was being stalked. If that wasn't enough, this past November she was molested by a person that she looked up too, someone she called "Grandpa" and loved him like one. The bastard stole her innocence. She was stronge enough to stop him from raping her, but what he did to her was horrible. I have seen this 16 year old CHILD go through so much these past few months.

At 16 Hannah should be experiencing all the wonders of getting to go out on dates. Shopping with her friends. Doing normal everyday things a 16 year old covets. She has had to forego all they wonders of being 16 for being scared, scared of the prick who molested her trying to get to her, scared of being alone, scared of having to testify against the fucker who took her "mental" innocence! I don't know about anyone else, but hell when I was 16 I worried about who was dating who, what shoes to wear with a certain outfit, about that secret crush you have on someone, but not my sweet daughter by proxy.

Tonight, my best friend told me that Hannah is failing in all her classes. At first Kori was a little angry, but very concerned as to why her grades were so bad. When they came over to pick Owen up tonight, Kori, Hannah and I had a good long talk. The school is wanting to pass Hannah off to an alternative School, Kori being a good mom is against this. Hannah was wanting to go to the school in the town they are moving too. Understandable. When I spoke with Hannah I told her that what she is going through is understandable, but moving to another school, unfortunately what she is going through will follow her until we can get a resolution.

After talking, we all decided that instead of Kori and I going to our Monday night meeting that we would have an ice cream "party", cheer Hannah up the old fashion way. LOL

Later on after I got to Kori's, her and I were standing in the kitchen and she asked Hannah if it was ok to tell me what they spoke about earlier. Making my heart swell, Hannah said of course, she wanted me to know everything. After hearing what Kori was going to tell me, my heart broke.

Kori told me that Hannah had contemplated suicide twice now, since this has all happened. Hannah has even gone so far as to plan it out. She thought she just didn't want to deal with it anymore, that she would use her Mom's Lexapro to end it all. As that is basically the only medication they keep in the house. This is where I AM OUT OF MY DEPTH! I just held her, I couldn't even cry, all I could think was MY GOD this poor child! What can we do. What do I say to her? I want to kill the fucker who did this too her, would that help her? If I could get my bare hands on the SOB would hurting him help her? My heart broke for her. She is only 16 and gone through so much in 6 short months.

We all sat down after that and Kori told her she thought it was time to get her on anti-depressants, which I feel is a good route to go, since at this moment counseling is out until the court case is resolved. She also told Hannah she was calling the DA tomorrow and telling him that Hannah is suicidal and something needs to be done.... NOW! Thank god for Kori's rational mind.

Tomorrow Hannah is going to come over her and hang out with me after her Mom goes back to work. I am so worried I will make her feel alienated if I don't talk more about it with her, then there is the, if I bring it up maybe she won't want to talk about it, so I am going to go with the treat her like normal and if she wants to talk, I will sit down and talk with her about it. I know one thing, I am going to go to bed tonight and pray for Kori, Hannah, and the rest of her family, and pray to god that he will show me the right way to help this 16 year old sweetheart.

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