Saturday, January 24, 2009

My First Amends

Being a recovering addict, part of my recovery down the road is to make amends to people that you have hurt in the past, as long as it does no damage to that person or yourself. Well, Thursday night I had quite a strange dream. One of my friends, who I have been friends with for almost 20 years now, who I never get to see because of distance, and we send forwards to on-line and speak to off and on through emails was the star of this dream!

I can't remember a lot of the dream, but I do remember someone in it telling me I needed to make amends with Deb. I'm not a hugely religious person, I believe in my Higher Power, in my own way, I pray everyday now, but never felt I had "god experiences". This was one of those I believe. I woke up Friday morning to feeling I really needed to write to Deb and make amends with her. You know, I feel at peace about it since doing it. I feel I didn what I really needed to do. This was one of my "God Shots" I believe.

I was talking to my best friend, Kori, after our meeting last night and we talked about this quite a bit, and I told her, I know down the road I am going to have to make amends to my Ex-Husband, something I didn't think would have to happen, but I have been truly honest to and with myself about my past. Things that I didn't want to or didn't think I needed to, take responsibility for in my first marriage. It may take me a while to make this amends, but I will make it.... eventually.... I think..... NO NO NO I know..... hmmmmmmmmmmm lol

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