Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Now I Pray....

Being a Daycare Provider I have ups and downs. For the most part, it is ups. I have been blessed to have pretty damn good parents and kids for the past 10 years. I have only encountered a few parents that are remiss about raising their children. I have encountered A LOT of parents who are loving and caring. Over the past 10 years when a child leaves my daycare it saddens my heart, because I become very very attached to all my little charges. A lot of the kids that leave is usually because they have grown up and grown out of the daycare stage, the other reason is if they move. All the kids affect me, all the kids are thought about by me even if they are gone for quite a while. As a daycare provider I'm not suppose to have favorites, but try as I might, I do. Some just reach my heart more than some.

One little girl has curled up in my heart and I know she has done so as well with some of my daycare parents. This little girl is who I pray for.

November of 2007, friends of ours called asking if they could start bringing their Grand-daughter to my daycare as they had temporary custody of her. The minute I laid eyes on Jaylee I fell in love with her. I fell in love and at the same time my heart broke. Jaylee had dark rings under her eyes and was very tiny. For being almost 2 years old she was only wearing 12 month clothing and these were big on her. The rings around her eyes I feel, were from malnutrition. Her real mom was not quite 16 when she gave birth to her. Her mom, Lauren, is a very self-centered girl who has been tested for bi-polar but won't medicate for it.

Jaylee THRIVED in the care of her grandparents. That little girl could talk like an adult before she was two. One story that stands out for me is this: "Jaylee your nosey" and she would say "No I'm not, I'm inquisitive!!" and she said it perfectly and knew what she was talking about! Her grandparents had custody for her for not quite 18 months. They would gladly adopt her, even though all their kids are grown and out of the house. Jaylee has a way of just walking into your life and making the most cold hearted person fall in love with her. In the 18 months of being with her grandparents she went from size 12 month clothing to size 3 toddler. The purple rings disappeared, she started acting like a NORMAL 3 year old child. She told my oldest son, Foster, who is 17, that she was going to marry him one day. We would all laugh.

As I sit here, frustrated and mad as hell because her 20 year old biological mom who has been out of her life for almost 18 months came and took her away from her grandparents. Her mom, at 16 gets pregnant on purpose because it was the "in" thing to do. Lauren then met a boy, married and had another child who is almost 2 that she hardly ever sees as well, AND she is pregnant AGAIN! Did she take Jaylee out of love? NO is my opinion, she took her out of spite out of "look what I can do"! That little girl is who will suffer! Her grandparents will definitely suffer as will all of us who love Jaylee, but Jaylee is the one who will suffer the most and is to young to deal with it, where the rest of us can deal with it. Being able to blog about it is my way of dealing with it. This isn't about me though, this is about Jaylee, a little sweetheart who didn't ask to be born, who didn't ask to be neglected, who didn't ask to fall in love with her "Papa" and Grandma and to feel safe there. When Jaylee talked to Grandma this morning she asked her "When am I coming back to MY HOUSE?" Because that is home to Jaylee! Where are the lawmakers when shit like this is happening?? Jaylee was abondened by her mom to go into the "Services" then after she fails to achieve that goal, "Mom" sits around in New Jersey doing nothing about getting her daughter UNTIL the state of Idaho goes after her for Jaylee's health care costs! Because she is being sued by the state of Idaho is the only reason she is coming for Jaylee, not because of the money, but because her parents forced her hand and signed Jaylee up for medical assistance, something her mother wasn't doing anything about, and because she is finally being made to take responsibility for this adorable little girl financially, out of spite she takes her. I am sure her thoughts are "There take that, you screw with me I will screw with you" when realistically she is messing up Jaylee's life!!!

SO NOW I PRAY..... Dear God, please watch over Jaylee. I asked you to stop her mom from taking her from her Grandparents, you didn't, but I feel in your infinite wisdom there is a greater plan you have in mind for Jaylee and her grandparents. Please watch over Jaylee, see that she is taken care of properly, loved, and cherished. Amen.

P.S. please say a prayer for Jaylee.

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